Poem To the Night

(I get familiar with the late night hours
the late night hours
the late night hours)

I wrap the night around me like a shawl to welcome home
Celebrate the absent judgements in defiance of the throne
All that was the cage of expectations left behind I'm freed
From the hours of persuasion that belong to daylight's greed.

(I get familiar with the late night hours
the late night hours
the late night hours)

i see beauty

i see beauty everywhere, and what i see i share
i do not share cute colors
i do not share smooth words
i share my love and make my love to be what is unheard
i do the things i say i'll do and take care of my children too

empty

footfalls heard inside a hall
moving faster from it all
moved a home-made distance now
just for a little while

buses broke down hobbled gore
childhood chants are heard no more
echoes along ribcaged floor
my pain goes with them and theirs 
follows where I go

tears and crunching, falling under
foots fall down the heart hall of me

Shrieking Saviors

Shrieking Saviors, who am I?
staking life on endless pantomimes
holding on to this and then this and then this
hair is braided to one side
breasts of chicken baking strips
in honey and soy sauce
couch shopping....
god, anything shopping....

makes no sense.

Draft

I will write a love song
    and save it as a draft
I'll send it in ten years or so
    unless you've been an ass
How else will I ever know
    what I am to do
yesterday has taught me that
   things change and so do you

(blessing rained upon me...
    and I was happy when
 I believed all that I knew and
    I earned the love I spent
 some clouds parted and sun-dried
    some happiness and truth
 there is no real thing I know now
    what love was left I blew)

Pain Makes You Do Funny Things

pain makes you do funny things
like stop reading poems

stop your ears up where there are birds
stop you in your tracks kind of pain

and makes you ask crazy unreasonable  

things

like why
and why
and... Dear god - Why?

Free

striped legs run free
pursued by bright and hungry cats
real life wild life halt

Beauty

beauty rests in simple places
grassy noles and chairs and streams
someone something sitting there
with heart and soul and love to share

Evolving

this post-hangover feeling is euphoric
addictive and metaphoric
hopeful and introspective
comforting and recollective

I live with mild anxiety
and I've learned to ride it
regrets and insecurity have come to mean nothing to me...

this post-war stimulation might be genetic
my outlook reveals my heretic
however do we come to these conclusions?
difference is sustained by perseverence and seclusion

and I may be
as we speak
still
evolving

good points and bad points
stuck in a revolving door's revolving
what makes me think
in any way that I woud be involved
in the choice making of blind forces
that are moving me along
moving me along...

towards the fate of my generation
towards which I have no feelings of obligation
just an anger that is passivly benign
waiting for a small spark to ignite

I live with mild anxiety
a loathing of propriety
a guilt that can't be shaken though it's based on
allegations
that are false perceptions
doctored by society

I may be
as we speak
still
evolving

Shut Up - (song lyric)

Lumps inside white dresses
Coriander purses swinging
Hella shields and blinds and fans
Hella wheels and flair and bands
Hella heels and hair and hands
Walking towards me
Walking towards me....

Twisted sheets and broken dance
Faded from the circumstance
What hours keep and which souls weep
These things matter when you're mad as hatter
For the one you seek
For the one you seek....

Shut up and watch me now
Shut up and watch me now
I am so selfish now
I am so selfish now
Give in to madness now
Give in to madness now

Aisles of curtains swept up grace
Dustpan drums and wastebins wasted
To blink the wait and face
To shrink and fake the lace
To lie alight the taste....

Trousers pinstriped to incline
Skirts to part and hair unwind
Fascinate the ears and eyes
You can't wait to compromise

Shut up and watch me now
Shut up and watch me now
I am so selfish now
I am so selfish now
Give in to madness now
Give in to sadness now
Give in to madness now
Give in to sadness now

Concentration

Pain and lies are handed out like scraps of lottery
I passed along my ticket, masked desire with poverty
We could have talked and traded.  Eyes and mysteries.
I cheated with my prayers, you with pornography

Wondered where the balance was and where we'd finally meet
I saw you in the fire and I found you in the street
on a rainy night in June I found your window with my feet

I've been clubbed with misery.  and shame and pain and please
Spare me spades of death in hope and darkness' fantasy
Feels like I'd laid myself face down upon the table like a three
and fate was flipping cards until she found the heart of me.
Matches made coincidence in sunshine's memory.

followed around

followed around
by doubt
and guilt
sitting with my chin in my hands
and feeling like I was tasting rum that tasted like nothing

wishing it would separate at some point on my skin
and open up all of me to let the bad blood out
and let a little bit of sunlight in.

Amoeba Envy

What is a moment in time compared to a life time of them.
Who falls asleep like that?
I would love to stop knowing long enough to experience that fully.
as it is, I feel fully aware of everything.
Too much aware.
unbelievably and unnecessarily aware
amoeba do not envy me as I used to feel they should
complication equals progress in the world I recognize
I have another idea for a different kind of prize
As I simplify I feel lazy and dull
but these feelings, they pass over time
and all that's left is me and my good life

and today shall mark the new day
the day where I begin to believe
like a painted flame
like a woman on fire
ready and willing to become what I've wanted
and happy to find the truth where it's found
and no more compromising.
and no more excuses for why I am not.
cascading melodies and notes resound
with freedom and feeling and fragility
and all that is beautiful about life.